This post if for you moms. Cheers to all of you who have survived pregnancy and childbirth. Seriously. A couple hundred years ago some of us wouldn’t be alive. Any doubt why women did not always survive childbirth in the not so distant past?

I had my first child and after a year I was pregnant with my second. In less than 3 years I gave birth twice, to my pride and joy. My reason for living.

But it wasn’t easy. I had morning sickness with both pregnancies for 20+ weeks. I had sciatica that made my working on my feet all day job a nightmare.  I had a stomach bug that landed my in the hospital for IV fluids 2 days before my daughter was born. I was anemic after my second. Both labors were at least 14 hours.

If you are hospitalized at any other time of your life you get to go home to people caring for you. Telling you to relax. You need to heal. Childbirth? No such luck. Not only is a baby born that day, but a mother is too. And she has to hit the ground running. My daughter didn’t want to eat. My son only wanted to eat. Sleep became a luxury.

After my daughter, I came home from the hospital sobbing my eyes out. Feeling helpless. I had 2 books on my nightstand that were supposed to prepare me for this moment. They contradicted each other. I threw them in the trash.

My dad told me I already knew what I needed to know. He said a mother’s instinct is strong. I laughed at him. I wasn’t a maternal person before I had kids. I didn’t think there was a magic switch.

Turns out, he was right.I figured out how to get my daughter to eat. Eventually the kids starting sleeping on a regular schedule. I embraced the advice of “sleep when your baby sleeps”. My husband made sure we had food and gave me breaks when I needed it. He kept me SANE. Barely. You survive those first few months. It’s all you can do. It seems like such a blur now.

The day we brought my son, my second born home from the hospital ranks as one of the happiest days of my life. My daughter, 22 months at the time, was upset by me being in the hospital. She didn’t understand what was happening. She was freaked out by my IV. But the day we came home she was beaming, proud to be a big sister and happy everyone was home. I didn’t have the fear I did the first go around. I had experience. I had tried out my maternal instincts and knew they wouldn’t fail me.

That day was 2 and a half years ago. And I write this blog to say it’s taken me this long to recover. I’m just now starting to feel back to normal. Just now able to enjoy exercising. Just now finding some energy. Just now starting to feel healthy again. Just now enjoying the things I did before I became a mom.

It took me over 2 years to heal. To heal physically and emotionally. Having my children so close together meant that I never really fully recovered from one before I was pregnant again.

So to the mom out there who is exhausted, broke down. Emotionally and physically taxed. I’ve been there too. It takes time for your body to heal. Months. Maybe years. Give yourself that time. It’s OK if you aren’t there yet.